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I hate people.

I will always keep you close to my heart.

If you need me I will always be there for you.

This letter may not be seen by you but still I wanna write this to you.

He asked me why do I always wanna argue? Well I like it when I argue with you. Then we end up to a real fight where he ask me. You just wanna be dominant aren’t you? No, I just wanna make you mine. He told me things that I won’t forget. Truthfully, there are others who want him to be theirs. I know about this but I just keep on denying it till I hear this from himself. My heart sank. Because when there are more than one woman in a man life, I was always left behind. That’s why I left earlier. I knew I’ll get left behind again. It hurts to be the one not chosen esp by him.Then he told me that he is tired and he keep on trying to take care of those around him but no one take cares of his feeling. I cried listening to this. Have I asked him too much ? I guess maybe. The thing is I am sorry. I had no intention in hurting you and make you feel guilty about what I have for you. I told you before do not think about me and don’t be because I chose in doing so. Then you end up telling me that you cried due the guilt. I am really sorry for this. This is where you make me realizes that I must have been a really big burden to you, my feeling towards you. I am sorry. I will try to remove it asap. I won’t hurt you again and won’t make you feel sorry about me. I won’t. I will do anything just to make you happy. But I am glad to know that you wanna get closer to Allah swt now. You’re wanna be alone. You don’t wanna a girlfriend but you need a wife. How I wish that I am the man and how do I wish that I have the money to ask you in being me. But still can I ask you this, will you marry me ?

i should just die

Maybe I should try to get myself high. Then I’ll learn how to forget you.